Defining Line
by FearingFenris
Summary: Yume Sehkoshi is a general in the Toyatomi army, serving beneath Hideyoshi. When betrayal strikes on the battlefield, Yume is tasked with the choice of joining her childhood friend, Ieyasu, or keeping her loyalty to the Toyatomi army. All is a question of morality, but is the choice she made the correct one?
1. Chapter 1

Tension in the air flowed like the blood on the battlefield: thick and slow. Men lay sprawled everywhere, some still grasping at the last straws of life. My men were in good form as we made it across the fields, however gruesome the battle was. Hideyoshi's orders were to slay every last man, but I found myself in conflict with him. The order itself was so unlike him that it made me absolutely disgusted by the idea, however, Hideyoshi was my lord and I was to trust in him 'til my own death. I decided rather than to quit the field to only fight those willing to fight and allow the stragglers and the cowardly to live, especially the townsfolk. My men were told to completely bypass villagers, even if they were opposing. Hideyoshi needed a good outlook and this was what I was trying my best to save.

When we came to the gates to meet up with Ieyasu and Mitsunari, I gazed at our tactician and Hideyoshi himself in front of the two commanders. They were discussing tactics, most likely, and as I rode up upon my horse, Hideyoshi immediately turned his attention to me. His eyes were staring at me, but I knew deep down that he was looking past me, into the future.

"Yume, I need your men to cover Mitsunari's units. Date Masamune was seen not too long ago by the west gate traveling alone with his advisor. His units are directly assaulting our lines and we need your support. Do not leave a single man alive."

"Y-yes sir." I bowed my head, hiding my dislike for the idea, and caught a glimpse of Ieyasu's face under his yellow hood. A frown pulled his face into a look of disgust and worry and his eyes gazed downward, towards the ground. The look bothered me deeply, as much as he was bothered inside, and I sensed something wrong.

"Allow me to deal with the One-Eyed Dragon, my lord, and I will bring you his head." Mitsunari proposed, always loyal to a fault. Hideyoshi was his idol, the man he wanted most in the world to please, like a beloved father. Despite his willingness to carry out Hideyoshi's slightly twisted whims, deep down he was only trying to obey his lord and be as useful as he could be to his cause. He had a will of iron and love for his comrades like Ieyasu, but completely different outlooks on life.

"Permission granted, Mitsunari. Be swift." Hideyoshi ordered, and Mitsunari hurried off immediately.

"I'm off towards the west gate." I called back to Hideyoshi, spurring my horse.

"Ieyasu, follow her men and come back with details of the battlefield. I'll be waiting here."

"Yes, sir." Ieyasu replied slowly, but then spurred his horse after me.

As I rode, I felt that something definitely was amiss. Ieyasu was keeping his distance from me, unlike when we usually rode together in the past: side by side and discussing the field. He was thinking something, and it didn't seem too trustworthy. I gazed back at my uneasy friend and he caught my eye on accident. I smiled to brush the awkward incident off, but he obviously caught my observing his actions and spurred his horse to my side.

"Ieyasu…is something bothering you?" I asked quietly, so that the others couldn't hear.

"So you've noticed…" He sighed, the troubled look he tried to hide behind apathy shining like a beacon," This war…all of this violence…"

"I understand…this country is in need of unification, though."

"Yes, but…to kill every last man is just a waste of life. Violence can't solve this anymore. We need each other, not just brute force to silence everyone in our way."

"Hideyoshi…Hideyoshi is just getting tired of the struggling, Ieyasu…I don't like these orders, either, but I don't have to cut down every last man. I have my own will to interpret his orders in my own way, and, hopefully, for the better."

"But you're different than the other officers. They will obey his every word, and for his every word people will be slaughtered. This isn't the first time he's gone overboard, Yume. Hideyoshi has taken the power to his head and he'll never be the same. It's time we act on that."

"Ieyasu?" I looked at him with confused eyes, "Are you…planning treason?!"

"…Yume, I only tell you these things because I trust you. We both understand his actions are growing out of hand. With all of his power, I fear he'll only become a tyrant upon his people—"

"You know I can't allow—"

"Just listen!" He pleaded, and I allowed him to speak," If we allow him to continue on, he'll enslave this country and people will be slaughtered to keep him in power. He will rule in fear and the country will suffer. You want to protect the people, right? You want the people you protect to sleep well at night and have opinions of their own, to act freely like you do and choose their own actions. If we keep him in power, that'll never happen."

"We? You mean you want me to help you commit treason against our lord?" I growled, under my breath, "I understand that he's slipping, but I can still save people from him. I believe that he can bring this country together, and I know he's turning into a tyrant, but I can save this from his twisted mind. What happened to your vows to serve under him?! We pledged ourselves to him as his vassals, to oversee him through whatever came, and now you go back upon your words?! Do you know that if you kill him, the war will not end? People will die and the country will fall back into disarray. All of this work of ours will fall to pieces! What about the blood your brothers spilled on the battlefield beside you? Will you just let that go to waste?"

"Yume, I…I thought you'd understand above anyone else. I wish to forge a country with bonds, not blood, and all that was spent before now will fuel me on to complete my own goals. For what good do brothers serve if they die for something in vain? There will be war whether Hideyoshi lives or dies, but if Hideyoshi falls, we have a chance to truly unite this country under bonds of peace. Until now I've been a slave to his whims, and I've had enough. The gods have spoken to me and given me a purpose, and that purpose I must fulfill. Now, will you join me, or stand aside?"

I was taken aback by his resolve, and also by his confidence that he would challenge me, one of his close friends. This Ieyasu was willful and eager, like his older self, but before he lacked a reason to act. Now he had one, and it was one against what I could allow. My loyalty towards my lord was something I felt was important above all else, but now he was putting our friendship in-between my vows and I was having a hard time choosing what was right. Ieyasu could see the pain in my eyes as I stared into his. Why did he bring me into this?

"Ieyasu…what are you trying to do to me?" I looked down, towards the moving ground, "You make me choose between the most important factors of my life. Do you wish to rip out my soul?"

"Yume, I'm giving you an option as a friend, and if not now, but later, you wish to change your mind, I will still accept you, or even protect you, if it gets to that point. Know I will always consider you as a friend, no matter the circumstances. This is merely a question of morality, not loyalty."

"If only it were that easy, Ieyasu," I sighed, unsure of what exactly I should do, and suddenly I heard a sound from the far field. A crackling, echoing sound constantly repeated. They were gunshots.

"We're being shot at!" Ieyasu shouted, pulling at the reigns of his horse.

"At this range, we'll be slaughtered. Everyone, make for the gate!" I ordered, "Ieyasu, take your units to the gate and I'll give you cover. If you think on turning back alone while I'm protecting your men, I will kill you."

"…Understood," He answered, again with slow, thoughtful words, and spurred his horse," Men, follow me!"

I turned to a small number of my men, not so eager to be caught in the situation, and found that I had a small handful of archers and gunmen. If I let all my men leave with Ieyasu, then surely there would be heavy casualties without support. I ordered them to stay with me, and noted their displeased looks. This indeed was a bad situation.

"The few men left with me, find cover!" I shouted, a bullet whizzing by my shoulder rattling me a bit.

They scattered into several locations, but I had nowhere to go. If I were to dismount my horse, my fastest way of transportation would be out of the way. Also, my men needed my support, and staying the eyes of the field above them was important. I just needed to be careful.

"When the gunfire ceases, fire your weapons!" I called out, my men nervously nodding back.

Bullets whizzed everywhere, but at the distance we were at, their accuracy was sorely strained. With cover, my men survived heavy onslaughts and with luck I was unharmed. Ieyasu saw his men to the gate and was allowed passage, the sea of men fading behind the thick stone walls. A whistle blew from the safe soldiers, and I wondered how I'd get my group back in one piece. Then, firing came from atop the walls, raining down upon our enemies in the form of arrows and canons. We had a moment to run for the gate, before the men had to reload.

"Go! Make a run for it!"

My men sprinted ahead of me, and I allowed them to take the lead. I followed behind them, to keep them running, and surveyed the field again. Men were hiding behind barricades on the other side made of hardwood strapped together with rope or even nailed, trying to escape the canon shots which splintered their make-shift walls and sent men screaming into the air. It was almost horrific how many men fell, but also, it was even more so that there were more than enough men to take their place.

"Everyone, inside!" I herded my men onward, as they scrambled through the partially opened gates. Suddenly, the gunfire from our walls paused.

Bullets came down like rain upon the walls beside me, and then a hollow, dense thud caught me by surprise. My horse whinnied and reared, but I soon noticed we were falling, quickly, to the ground. Everything seemed to pause as I saw the rest of my men take shelter behind the gates, and I was still outside. The horse fell over on its side, kicking and screaming, crushing my side as I tried desperately to escape the saddle and slide out from under its crushing weight. Then there was blood. Red, thick blood underneath me, pooling up in the dirt. My heart raced. Was it my blood or the blood of my horse?

"Yume!" A voice called, but I was too wrapped up in my own panic to concentrate.

The horse squealed, but was gradually losing energy, sending out the last few kicks and snorts it had, and I realized that my horse must have been what was hit. With sorrow, I felt its last pangs of life leave, and something in my heart wished that I had been the one killed. The innocent creature who had took a bullet instead of me was now gone and would become one of our war casualties, but given far less honor.

Then, hands wrapped underneath my arms, and strongly pulled me free of the limp constrictor. It was Ieyasu, the man I needed to watch most at these times of weakness. My body ached miserably as soon as I was freed, but no time was granted to me to stand before I was being rushed into the gates in his strong arms. There was a slam as the gates were sealed behind us, but Ieyasu didn't stop running.

"Where are you going?!" I demanded, "I need to be with my men!"

"You're covered in blood, Yume!"

"Ieyasu, it was my horse's blood. I'm fine. Put me down!"

"How do you know you're not shot?"

"I'm fine!" I growled," I can take care of myself! We're not kids anymore! I must go back to my men, they need me!"

"I can't let you do that until you're absolutely sure you're not wounded."

"Ieyasu…," I sighed," I will not allow my men to be without a commander. They need me now. There are reinforcements waiting to take this gate, I saw them with my own eyes. We're not going to win this without my help!"

"Who cares about this war?!" Ieyasu shouted," You'll die if you go back out there, and you'll die for nothing but a tyrant! Do you really want to waste your life on him?! If you die now, how will you be able to help anyone other than Hideyoshi?"

"I won't die!" I growled," Do you honestly think I'm still that little girl you grew up with?! I've changed. I know my way around a battlefield and I can fight for myself. Now, PUT ME DOWN!"

"You almost died out there! If it weren't for me, you'd be suffocating underneath that damn horse!"

"Ieyasu," I growled, and started kicking my way out of his arms, "Let me go."

"Fine then." He copied my tone, and let me back to my own feet.

I regained balance, and although I was aching, didn't seem to notice anything amiss. Ieyasu looked towards the ground in silence. He tried hard to keep me from returning to the field and he had failed. I knew all he wanted was to save me from this, but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to leave this field victorious, to continue on in unifying this land and leading the men which looked up to me.

"What about your men, Ieyasu?" I asked, gravely," Will you return to them, or should I watch over them for you?"

"…" He was silent, and I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"If you leave, a lot of good men will be without a leader. There will be an attack on this gate soon enough, and you will have abandoned them. Is that how you want to start your country, by abandoning us?"

"Yume, I'm not abandoning you. I'm simply ending this war. I'm doing a favor for you and your men!"

"Well, in that case, I will not allow you to leave."

"You can't be—"

I drew my sword, slowly, hoping he'd fall for my bluff. I didn't wish to fight him, I only wanted him to stay, to retract what he had said and be with us again. Maybe the idea of fighting a friend would stop him in his tracks, maybe make him consider what I've said and realize that he didn't need to commit treason.

"Yume, I don't want to do this with you." He pleaded, his eyes sincere.

"Then retract what you've said and say you'll stay with us."

"I cannot," He answered warily," I must see this through to the end, no matter what is in my way."

"Then you have no choice!" I advanced on him, swinging rapidly, trying to intimidate him.

Ieyasu got in a defensive stance and blocked my strikes, ultimately depending on his own ability to keep from being hit. I had enough faith in him to know that he could dodge my attacks and be unharmed, but knowing that he wasn't in the least intimidated frightened me. This wasn't going to work like I had hoped. I needed to make this dangerous, but I didn't think I could take the risk of possibly killing him.

"You have one last chance," I growled," Or I'll have to kill you, Ieyasu!"

"This can be avoided, Yume! Just join me, and you'll never have to choose between loyalty and friendship again!"

"You've already made me choose, Ieyasu, and I'm sticking with my choice!" I cut the cloth on his chest, missing flesh by half an inch, and saw his eyes widen with something akin to sorrow. It pained me to have to do this, but Ieyasu was now my enemy, and he would kill Hideyoshi, my lord, if I didn't stop him.

He dodged and weaved between my attacks as quickly and carefully as he could, and I didn't even scratch him. My feelings were holding me back, keeping me from taking the openings I saw in his form, and it disgusted me. My lord was supposed to be above all else, and yet I was holding myself back. Ieyasu would kill Hideyoshi if I didn't stop him. Why wasn't I trying harder?

Soon I was getting weaker and my arms weren't striking as fast as they should. I was out of breath and my hands were becoming numb. Ieyasu noticed this as well, as my opponent, but didn't take the chance to take me out. Something was wrong with my body, not just my conviction. I continued to fight, to take as many shots I had left before my legs started to shut down.

"Yume, you're wounded." Ieyasu replied calmly, almost emotionlessly.

"I don't care!" I shouted, "I'll stop you!"

"You're bleeding."

"And you're a traitor!"

"A traitor to what, exactly? A traitor to a traitor, a man who gave up on civility and turned to violence! Why can't you just see what I see?! Why can't you just listen to me, once in your life?!" Ieyasu pleaded, angry and sad at the same time.

"I have my own thoughts, Ieyasu! I have my own beliefs, and I believe that a pledge is something you keep your entire life! Hideyoshi is my lord, until death, and that will be how it is."

"Then I will have to free you of that bond, along with all of these men." Ieyasu turned, and I tried to pursue, but fell to my knees.

"Damn it!" I cried, forcing myself up from my knees again, and falling back, "Don't do this, Ieyasu!"

"I have to! For both of our sakes, Yume!"

I rose to my feet for a few seconds and sprinted after him, collapsing several feet behind him. I found I had close to no strength to rise again, and pondered whether I should shout for help, but realized I might end up killing him to save Hideyoshi. My weakness made me feel dirty, useless, and I lay my head on the ground. A few moments later, I passed out.

A loud, booming sound awoke me suddenly, and my heart raced. I dragged my heavy body up into sitting position, and in mad confusion, found myself in the medic's tent. I heard another boom, different from canon fire, and I jumped to my feet. The oddest feeling came over me—a feeling of dread. I instantly knew it was Ieyasu.

The medic burst into the tent and bid me to return to my cot, but I refused. I had medicine in my system that numbed whatever was underneath the bandage on my leg and made my body oblivious to whatever was ailing it. I pushed past him quickly and began to run, awkwardly, to where Hideyoshi was staying.

It took quite a few minutes to arrive, but when I did, Hideyoshi was on his knees, and I felt my heart drop. Ieyasu was standing before him, his concentration on Hideyoshi whose eyes slowly closed and his body became limp. I was solid, like a statue, in shock.

"IEYASU, NO!" I screamed, and ran towards them, but before I arrived, Mitsunari had Hideyoshi propped upon his arm.

Mitsunari's eyes were wide in terror, confusion, and sorrow. I could feel his soul wavering within him, five feet away from me, his body shaking. I was feeling his pain, if not a smudge lesser in intensity, but more-so I felt anger, betrayal from my childhood friend. For a minute I wasn't thinking. I drew my sword and ran at Ieyasu, whose friendship blew out the window for only a second.

"How could you?!" I screamed, my blade cracking against his gauntlets.

"Ieyasu…you were supposed to protect him!" Mitsunari mumbled behind me, like a child who couldn't understand death.

"Mitsunari…It had to be done." Ieyasu looked behind me, and my blade scratched his arm, turning his attention back to me.

"Ieyasu….Ieyasu…you did this!? You betrayed us?! What about our vision? Hideyoshi's vision, Hanbei's vision?!" Mitsunari rose to his feet, and I moved fast enough to get out of his way.

Ieyasu quickly dodged Mitsunari as a large, metal man descended from the sky just in time to pick him up. Mitsunari screamed his name in rage, and I sheathed my sword. He was gone, and so was Hideyoshi, but in a completely different way. Mitsunari was frozen, gazing at the sky. Something was wrong within him…he had lost his beloved father figure to a friend's fist.

I walked quickly over to Hideyoshi, felt his pulse, and with horror, the fact was real. I felt my body give in, the adrenaline passing and the medicine thinning in my system, but I still tried to pick Hideyoshi, my lord, up and onto my shoulders.

"Hideyoshi-sama…" Mitsunari mumbled, the tears literally in his eyes, as he was suddenly unfroze. His voice shook my willpower and I found myself stifling tears as well. I looked down towards the ground, still trying to heft Hideyoshi's gigantic body, and let them fall. I should've stopped Ieyasu. I had the chance to stop him, but I didn't. I couldn't. I allowed my emotions to get in the way and now Hideyoshi was dead and Mitsunari had lost his idol—if not a piece of his own soul.

A slow, shaking hand pulled Hideyoshi from me, and I dared not look at him. I felt ashamed to be in his presence, for I felt like I was the one who had killed Hideyoshi. However, Mitsunari never said a word to me, nor displayed any anger. He didn't know I was with Ieyasu earlier, and that I had failed to stop him. Honestly, no one knew. They all thought I was in the medic's tent the entire time.

"Let me carry him," He spoke, hollowly, but not unkindly, to me as he hefted Hideyoshi over his shoulders, "I was the one who failed him."

I didn't speak. I didn't want to give him fuel to hate me, so I only followed him onward. If I had said that he didn't fail him, he surely wouldn't believe me. Mitsunari went leaps and bounds ahead of what anyone else did for Hideyoshi, and he was the most loyal of us all. The fact he couldn't make it in time was a sure sign of fate or, really, of my own failure. I should've called Ieyasu out. I should've told them he was a traitor. Friend or not, he had just killed my lord, the man I entrusted the rest of my life to and the rest of Japan. All that Hideyoshi had conquered would be gone now, due to my failure. If anybody failed anything, I had failed as a commander in the Toyatomi clan, and I deserved to die.

We walked silently together, down to our main camp, Mitsunari breathing heavily and stumbling underneath Hideyoshi's weight. I knew where we were going. We were going by Hanbei's tent, and surely he'd be there, resting. The tuberculosis was eating away at him like an evil pest, and lately he was only becoming weaker. Today he was coughing up a lung every time I had seen him.

"M-mitsunari, I can help you-"I spoke up, noticing his feet slipping.

He shook his head quickly," It's my punishment. Hideyoshi-sama…" The tears came to flood his eyes again, but still no tears fell," Th-this is…the last thing I can do..."

"Hanbei is down this way…" I warned, but Mitsunari continued on. Sadly, Hanbei would find out sooner or later.

We came upon two small, white tents, and a man sitting outside, smiling at us. It was Hanbei, and his hair was shining in the moonlight with the rest of his white robe that wasn't spotted in blood. My heart sank again. His eyes were happy, and they were gazing into something that wasn't here in this world.

"H-hanbei…I have failed—"Mitsunari began to apologize, but Hanbei cut him off.

"Hideyoshi-sama, the Toyatomi clan will be stronger than ever now that we have Ieyasu and Mitsunari in our ranks…we're so close to realizing our dreams!" Hanbei smiled, looking directly at Mitsunari and weakly standing.

I swallowed hard. Hanbei was hallucinating and his sleeve was drenched in blood. He was on his last legs.

"H-Hanbei-sama!" Mitsunari whimpered, struggling under Hideyoshi's weight and what was taking place before him.

"H-Hanbei, you should be resting…" I approached him slowly, the pain of reality stabbing me like a knife.

Hanbei smiled again, then suddenly, took his very last breath. His body fell slowly and the smile on his face never faded til he hit the ground. My arms reached out to him, but stopped short. I was in utter shock at how fast things were changing around me, and the entire situation left me in disbelief. I felt my body shaking, my knees buckling.

"H-Hanbei-sama!" Mitsunari cried out, dropping to his knees, and the tears that he had held back for so long came flowing down, in the form of blood, "Ieyasu…I swear…I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU!"

In the sky stars shot across the sky as he cried, as if the event itself shook the heavens. Mitsunari's tears startled me and sent a shiver down my spine. All the pain he was suffering right now brought a dark side out from his shattered soul, and he'd never be the same without his comrades. I kept myself on the sidelines, trying to stay away from the wounded man and to give him space, but the distance and fact that he was so helpless to what was happening sent pangs of guilt through me. That was it. I was the cause of our downfall.

I pulled my blade from my sheath and sat on my knees. The metal shimmered in the moonlight and I hesitated. Mitsunari sat far away from me, carrying the weight of our lord, staring at the night sky and crying. I was his comrade. I had put him in this situation, and he was taking the blunt of it, while I decided to end my life. Should I inflict another casualty upon him in this state? If I died now, I couldn't remedy what I had done. As Ieyasu said, I couldn't help anyone if I were dead. So I decided to make a vow again, something for my life to follow without a lord to devote myself to. I would fix the mess I let unfold before me, and I'd repair the damage done to my brother-in-arms.

"Mitsunari…" I rose to my feet, shaking on my wounded leg, "I…wish to serve under you, as my new lord to avenge Hideyoshi."

"Yume…you pledge yourself to me?" He spoke, darkly," Pledge yourself to Hideyoshi, and we'll both take revenge on Ieyasu, this I swear."

"Then I vow to serve him still."

"Ieyasu did this, you say?" A dark shadow creeped upon us; Yoshitsugu.

"Yes, Yoshitsugu…" Mitsunari breathed, "And I'll kill him the next time we meet!"

"I see. Then I'll give you the pointers to keep you on your path." He spoke in his mocking tone," Your revenge will be seen to fruition."

"You're a tactician...how are you so sure I'll trust you?" Mitsunari growled," Where were you even when Hideyoshi was in danger?!"

"I was doing whatever duties were appointed of me. I didn't make it in time, the same as you two, and now I want my revenge. I would like to say we have an accord."

"You seem rather unmoved by the incident." I pointed out, unsure of this witty and intimidating man.

"Dear me, but isn't my job to be unmoved? If my emotions get in the way, then surely I wouldn't be able to think as clearly as I do, correct, Yume? However will I do my _duty_ if I cannot put my feelings out of the way?" Yoshitsugu spoke, like he knew something about earlier today and was jabbing it at me harshly.

"And you swear you'll get me what I want…?" Mitsunari crumbled, in this moment of weakness we shared.

"It'll depend on your willingness, but yes. If you follow my instruction, Ieyasu will be yours."

"Then you'll serve with me, under our lord Hideyoshi?"

"Til I die, Mitsunari…" His voice rang in its unusual tone.

"If I get any questions about your loyalty, I will kill you as well, Yoshitsugu. Don't believe I won't." Mitsunari rumbled.

My leg sent a shock of pain through my frame, almost causing me to buckle. Mitsunari's sharp, now bitter, eyes caught onto my ailment, and narrowed. I swallowed hard again. His mood was foul and his friends were gone, and I sensed he would snap at any moment's notice. I straightened my posture and tried to keep the weight off my bad leg, but he looked away anyway. I allowed myself to relax, if only a moment, before thinking about where I would bury Hanbei. Somewhere peaceful, where his spirit could rest and be undisturbed. Maybe under some trees, far from the battlefield. Far from any conflict.

"I'm going to put Hanbei to rest, Mitsunari…" I spoke, somewhat quietly, and reached to Hanbei's still warm body.

"Leave him. I'll bury him with Hideyoshi." Mitsunari quickly answered," They need to be buried together. You need to get that wound seen to."

"Y-yes, sir." I bowed quickly, and began to limp away.

"I need you ready for battle." He added, and I stopped.

"Please…put them in a peaceful place…"

"…"

I turned and walked back to the medic's tent, knowing deep down he would bury them out near the trees, far from violence.

The next day the medic cleared me to walk around the camp, but we were moving locations now, since we had lost the battle. This territory wasn't ours, however, we were burning with desire to reclaim it despite our broken lines. We packed up with groaning and bad spirits, everyone snapping at each other due to yesterday's failure. I packed my tent up and put it on a cart with the others, sorely missing my steed that took a bullet for me.

"Yume, we brought you a horse from the stables." One of the errand men spoke up amongst the slow moving sea of people, a large red horse in tow.

"Thank you so much," I smiled, weakly, and he returned the same weak, unsure smile, "What's its name?"

"His name is Balder. I know he's foreign, but he's one of the last horses we have left…"

"No, he's perfect."

I put my hand out towards the large, muscular horse, and he caught my scent. He seemed calm and steady, and as I stroked his neck he was still and quiet. Balder seemed like he'd been well seasoned, probably some other man's prized horse, or even a farmer's workhorse, but nevertheless was the perfect fit for me.

Climbing into the saddle with my wounded leg was a struggle; even the errand man had to boost me. With a grunt, I centered myself and placed my feet in the stirrups. Balder shifted his weight underneath me and I balanced myself. My usual horses were smaller and much more equipped for speed, but Balder was strength and stability, something I needed to get used to. With a slight tap of my heels on his sides, he was walking. It was a smooth step, more than comfortable. So Balder was also trained.

I followed the meandering river of men toting their belongings and noted how much they were in disarray. Men hunched under their packs, looking towards the ground and muttering to themselves. Our moral was dangerously low, but what would you expect when your own lord is killed?

A slower man was having trouble keeping up with the rest of us, and I turned my horse to meet up with him. He was obviously weak and sickly, and it worried me dearly that he was one of our soldiers and not with a medic.

"I can take your pack for you, sir." I offered, and he looked up at me, shaking.

"No…I've…got this…," He huffed, and continued past me.

"You're obviously not well, just let me—"

"I've got to do this by myself…!" He shouted, coughing after.

"How can you serve Hideyoshi if you're not in your best health?" I pleaded, knowing he was feeling guilt.

"I-I…" He stuttered, "I have to do something…"

"Hand me your pack. It's alright. This isn't the only way you can serve Hideyoshi. We've got many a battle ahead of us, and we need everyone at their strongest…"

"Y-yes, General…"

He slid his pack off his shoulders, but then I noticed either way he might not make it to where we were going. I stopped Balder, then dismounted. I took his pack and put it on my own shoulders, but he looked confused. I smiled at him.

"Take Balder. Consider it an honor to be riding on a general's horse for the day."

"But—"

"For your undying spirit, please don't refuse my offer. That would dishonor me, sir."

"Y-yes, ma'am," He nodded quickly, a blush coming to his pale face, and I helped him mount Balder.

"Just remember to take good care of him. He's a good horse."

"Of course."

He kicked Balder's sides and was off into the river with everyone else. I followed on foot, limping every once in a while, with the rest of our men. They all looked towards me with wide eyes, feeling as though a general shouldn't walk alongside her men, but then turned to each other with slight smiles. Our men needed to feel like we were all together in this, not just the generals and lords using the soldiers for back up. They did matter, and they needed to notice this.

"G-general," A soldier alongside me spoke up, "Y-you're wounded, shouldn't you be keeping off of your leg?"

"Are the other wounded ones keeping off of their legs?"

"Some of the severe ones, yes. The others—"

"The others are walking, same as me. I am no better than they are. We are all equal in our importance."

"Y-yes, general, but they're men—"

"I am a general, nothing more. I am just like any man, and will serve like one. Just because I'm a woman it doesn't mean I can't give the same effort. I need no special treatment."

The men looked at each other, then smiled. I carried my fellow soldier's weight on my shoulders, even with an injury, and was keeping up the best I could. Somehow this inspired the men around me. They lifted their heads and pushed harder, soon beginning to pass me. I was then the one struggling to keep up with my bad leg, but kept up despite my handicap. They needed inspiration.

"Yume, where is your horse?" A strict, grumpy voice called to me.

"It's with a man who needed it more. I apologize if I startled you, Mitsunari."

"Weren't you supposed to stay off of your leg?"

"I was cleared to walk this morning."

"Around camp, yes. We'll be marching well into tomorrow."

"I'll be fine, sir. Our men needed a morale boost anyway. We can't fight Ieyasu with bad morale."

"How are you helping morale by walking on your wounded leg?" He growled.

"The other men who are wounded like I am are on their feet alongside the others. I am but a soldier like the rest. Therefore, I need no special treatment."

"You are not like the others, Yume. You're a valued general and asset on the battlefield. The skills you have far outmatch that of the men beneath you."

"I am but a mere man, a pawn of war like the rest. I live and die as quickly as they do. Please, if it wouldn't bother you, could we continue this conversation at another time? I may be able to explain it better when the march is over."

"Fine," He grumbled, obviously discontented with my decision, and spurred his white horse ahead.

I picked up the pace to follow behind the soldiers who had also increased their pace. My leg sent dull sensations of pain through my system, but the medicine I was given by the doctor this morning was keeping it bearable through the hours of forced walking. I didn't know how long the medicine was going to stay in my system due to my physical and straining activity, but the doctor said it would last at least til dusk with minimal activity. Overall, I guessed I had about three more hours left of it in my system by the way my leg was already sending signals, and that was being on the positive side. Truthfully, it would probably only last two more hours. When that happens, I'll be back to the me that could barely hobble around last night and, if Mitsunari were to find out, I'm sure he'd be furious. Although he said he wasn't our leader, he sure took on the role of one; not that I minded. He was skilled and brave, albeit violent at times, but that was what I had awakened in him that night and it was my problem to fix.

The sixth straight hour of our march dawned with the heat of midday, sending sweat down our backs and foreheads, getting in our eyes and soaking our clothes. As the breeze squeezed between our ranks, the sweat became cold and relieving to our hot bodies that ached and moved together as one. We were a sea of heavy, persevering souls relying on our fellow spirits to keep up as much as we relied upon our own bodies to withstand this test of endurance.

"G-general Sehkoshi!" A voice called out my formal name, and I turned to see whoever had summoned my attention.

A farmer alongside the road waved at me, and I instantly remembered who it really was. It was a man I had spared the day before, in the long battle we sorely lost. Hideyoshi wished the folk who had fought alongside the enemy soldiers to be cut down with the rest of them, but I had spared this farmer's son who had rebelled against us in the chaos along with the other villagers caught in the crossfire. He was holding something in the hand that hung by his other side, perhaps in a basket, and as soon as my section of the march reached him, he rushed to me.

"General, I apologize for my son yesterday…," He blubbered, briskly walking beside me to keep the conversation up as I kept pace," I know you could've killed him, even all of us, in fact. That would've been your duty, but you decided to take mercy on us out of your own will. You have a kind heart we didn't think possible amongst Hideyoshi's ranks, and because of your kindness, I want you to have this…"

He handed me a small, woven basket covered in cloth, but I spoke," I am honored that you have decided to present me with this, but I was simply doing what I thought was right. I don't need gifts—"

"No, no! You take this. You'll find it useful in coming battles, for sure. May the gods bless you, General, and goodbye." He smiled, pushing the basket into me and quitting the line to return to his fields.

I pulled at the cloth lightly and lifted it to sneak a peek of what the gift actually was. A strong, herby smell wafted from the small glass vials that filled the top of the basket. This was obviously some type of medicine, and underneath the medicine were rolls of clean, thick bandages. The farmer was at least very practical in what I would be needing out there, in the midst of war. I then wondered if any of the vials would be for pain relief, but seeing as there weren't that many vials and we hadn't even scratched the surface of our initiative, I decided to wait until I was absolutely in need of the medicine.

Soon we halted for a rest period, and I found a spot underneath a great tree to rest under and sip at my water pouch. The other men found a creek a little ways off in the woods, but I knew I wouldn't make it there after sitting down. My leg was now fully sensitive to the bullet wound and had been weeping all the way here, since two hours into the march. The bandages were soiled with sweat and a mixture of old and fresh blood, and I knew they were no longer good. I needed to find the medic in our moment of respite so that he could redress the wound, or at least give me the materials to, but I was unsure of how far off the cart was.

The men who had returned from the creek laughed and pushed each other, talking loudly about there being another hour left of our rest, then we'd be off again. They were enjoying the break and visually avoided the commanding officers like me to join their fellow lower ranks. The segregation between ranks was so obvious that it was an eyesore, but I guess if every soldier saw themselves on the same ground of their officers they would think they came up with the orders, too.

I gathered my things, slid my pack over my shoulders, and stood up on shaking legs. The men paused in their speaking to gaze over at me while I struggled to steady myself and figure out where the cart was for the wounded. They then turned back to each other and began to converse again, checking over their shoulders at my display as I began to walk back towards the crowded road.

Limping past my soldiers was hard to do. I desperately wanted to stop and rest my leg for a few moments, but knew then that I'd look weaker than what I was. They needed to know I wasn't weak, and that this general was one to follow. I would protect them with my own life, but I wanted them to think that I was worth their support.

Then, one of the men rose from their group and approached me. He had a half-smile on his face that was clouded by his overactive nerves, but he steeled himself and opened his mouth," Th-the men wanted to know if you'd like to sit with us. We've never really had a general like you before. It, uh, seems like you're more down to earth than the other higher-ups."

"Is it just because I'm a woman?"

"Uh! N-no, not at all! I-I am so—"

"I'm only joking," I laughed, and the soldier relaxed enough to let out a short giggle, "I would love to join you, but I am in need of assistance. Do you happen to know where the medic's cart is?"

"It's towards the end of the line," He pointed past me, down the road and to a small cart amidst more men, "Y-you know what? I was a doctor before I joined the war, and I always keep bandages in my pack. If you wouldn't mind, I could dress your wound for you so you wouldn't have to go that far…"

"I wouldn't want to put you out of the way, but what's your name?"

"Call me Atsuo," He smiled, "And you're not putting me out of my way."

"I'm sorry, Atsuo, but I'm not just in the need for clean bandages…"

"I understand," He answered quickly and turned to his friends," Daiki, fetch some medicine for the general!"

"W-wait, you don't need to—"

"Got it, Atsuo." A larger man in the group stood and winked at me," Anything for the lady who'd give up her own horse for her men."

"But I can do this myself, I don't need your help." I spoke, but Daiki strode past me as Atsuo pulled me behind him.

I allowed Atsuo to redress my wound, somewhat begrudgingly, but knew I might not have been able to make it to the cart on my own. Also, Atsuo was more efficient than the doctor usually was and I didn't have to wait for him to be free to tend to my leg. The alcohol burned miserably and I grimaced. Atsuo laughed at my reaction and continued to clean out the wound which had begun to get the slightest signs of infection. He nagged me about being more careful with such an open wound and having dirty bandages for as long as I had them on, but I brushed it off. My mind was wandering elsewhere.

Daydreaming, I remembered the past. It was a sunny, hot day like it was today and the landscape itself wasn't much different out here in the rolling country. I was alone, underneath the trees for shade. In my hands were a pen and paper, and I was steadily sketching my surroundings as the breeze made my longer blonde hair lick at the side of my face. Suddenly, I heard footsteps in the grass behind my back and I paused.

"Hey, that's really awesome!" A boy at least a year older than me exclaimed, but I ignored him. I wasn't a social butterfly and, honestly, interaction with strangers was terrifying. Not because they were strangers, but because I didn't know how to communicate with them properly.

"You should be an artist when you grow up," He continued, the dark hair and bright, friendly eyes giving him away immediately. It was Ieyasu.

"I want to help people." I choked out, not looking away from my paper, "I can't help anyone with a piece of paper."

"Sure you can," Ieyasu grinned, "It makes people feel better about things and it helps us recognize the beauty of the world."

I smirked. He sounded like such a woman. I guess I wasn't the girliest girl even when I was younger. Constantly I was seen as an outsider in society by the other girls my age because I wasn't social like they were, I had other intentions and interests. They weren't interested in dragons and myths, neither were they interested in the actual world around them. The girls I grew up around thought of each other, their families, and the village boys, nothing much beyond that tight circle. Sadly, I learned the talent to look past the circle of our village and into the world around me, even to the darkest corners, but without that talent I wouldn't have recognized my need to protect the lighter patches from the darkness that wished to swallow all whole.

I then pondered my decision. Was it right to side with Mitsunari, a violent and now twisted being? Ieyasu had a heart of gold and love for his companions, but why did I feel the need to stay loyal to Hideyoshi, a lord losing his grasp on true, honest leadership? Then I remembered. In a world this chaotic, the need for balance was dire. I pledged myself to Hideyoshi, who then turned into a tyrant, but I did no evil underneath him. Under him my dreams of the world being united were being fulfilled, and I could shape it the way I wanted it shaped in my own ways through his orders and my bending of his will. I felt that in my heart I was still connected to the good spirit of who Hideyoshi really was, and as Mitsunari was slowly spiraling out of control, I realized that I needed to be the balance to right our wrongs. Ieyasu tainted the balance of the world by sending it back into disarray, and my life's work and ambitions were lost. As I saw myself as a mediator, I decided to cover my mistakes and rebuild what my men had lost along with me. I didn't rightfully stop the chaos from spreading, and so I was going to this time around, even if Ieyasu thought he had good intentions.

"Uh, g-general—"A voice shook me from my thoughts and a hand waved in front of my face.

"Yume, are you sure you're not getting a heatstroke?" Another voice interjected mockingly, and I instantly knew who it was.

"No, Yoshitsugu. I was just reminiscing about the past. Humans do that sometimes." I grumbled, and got to my feet.

"Oh, aren't you in a great mood for this march, "He grumbled back, and I slid both my pack and the soldier's pack over my shoulders," We should be arriving there tomorrow morning. Do take care of that leg."

"I will, thanks for the concern," I brushed him off and followed the slowly reforming river of men.

"Yoshitsugu is just an ass," Atsuo stepped beside me, "Your leg should be fine by tomorrow even with the march."

"You think so? It'll be sore still, I'm sure."

"Of course, but it won't be too much of a bother. Mitsunari will be satisfied with your recovery."

"Right, Mitsunari will be in need of me…" I spoke thoughtfully.

"No, Mitsunari will be in need of more than just your skills in battle. He'll need your heart."

"My heart?" I laughed, a little bit overwhelmed with the statement.

"Yes, your ability to lead men with compassion and thought for their lives. You care about everyone and can think through anger and rage. Mitsunari is an agent of rage, brought on by his master's death. His skills are above all of ours and his rage makes him even more potent. With him by your side, you can reshape this world, but don't let his rage be everything we are. Help him remember a bit of his old self, the self that he lost."

"I've already thought about that, Atsuo. I will make him feel again, even if it hurts, but he needs to let his anger out. We all do. We were injusticed."

"Just be sure that you don't give in to anger, Yume. On this dark path we're treading, fate will pull at your most hidden strings."

"Thanks for the warning, Atsuo," I laughed, brushing off the threatening reminder," Now let's march."

We set up camp when dusk peaked, the sun already far behind the mountains. I was at a loss for where my tent should be placed now, since our trio was broken. Mitsunari, Ieyasu and I staked our tents side by side when we all served Hideyoshi; we were his three favorite generals, along with his kind tactician, Hanbei. Now that it was all gone, I was without place in the chaos of our camp.

I decided to ground my tent outside the hub of camp, in the quiet shadows away from the lively men. I took off my armor and set them inside with the rest of my belongings, unrolled my sleeping bag and knew it was too early for me to sleep despite it being dark. I was physically tired, but nonetheless eager to take a walk on my own. Being around the men all day, even though I wasn't communicating with them the entire way, made me yearn for solitude.

Exiting my tent, without the weight of my armor, I felt relieved. My leg was still numb, like Atsuo expected it to be, and so I didn't worry. I took up my sword and turned away from the camp, hearing the laughter and conversations of men as I walked into the wooded area apart from the road. It was significantly darker underneath the branches and leaves of interlocking trees that whispered in the night breeze, but I could navigate as well as in the day. Our countless battles had trained me to be useful in as many settings as possible, and night time was no exception.

Climbing over several branches, I heard the hoots of owls in the treetops and the buzzing of crickets. The sounds of nature had a calming effect on me as I snaked through the shrubbery, noticing the familiar roar of running water. My heart fluttered at the idea and I made my way further into the forest, eager to get a glimpse at whatever aquatic landmark was ahead.

The trees thinned out and the moonlight shimmered over the rippling creak as I entered the clearing, but that wasn't all that my eyes made note of. A man was facing away from me, his naked back glimmering with droplets of water clinging to his smooth skin. His hair was a mirror of the moon's light, shining and bright in the darkness. It was my commander, Mitsunari Ishida.

My heart raced and I felt my face begin to melt with embarrassment. Retreat sounded in my head and I quietly turned back the way I came from, heading towards the trees. The water splashed behind me and I jumped, feeling the heat of someone's eyes discovering my presence. I froze for a second, but knew escape was not an option.

"Why did you come out here, General?" Mitsunari's voice cut through the silence with strange clarity," Here to wash yesterday's sins away?"

"I was taking a walk and the river attracted me. I apologize for entering your private space," I sighed, letting the embarrassment leave my person.

"This water draws us in like an empty promise," He spoke, "It promises to make us clean again, to wash away the filth we've gathered through time, but it only cleans the surface…"

His words struck hard in my soul. The pain of this world was heard through his words, through his thoughts. It was as if he was searching for something he couldn't find, and he knew it. But, it was the only thing he had left. He had to follow this course to the end.

"Yume…," Mitsunari continued," Do you think this world will forgive us our sins?"

"I…believe we're all due to an equal end, sir," I sighed," I think we will be judged fairly according to who we are."

Mitsunari grew quiet, and I turned to look at him, bravely. He was looking up at me, from the river, his eyes gleaming hazel in the lowlight. I smiled down at him, knowing he'd need something to keep his mind away from the despair he was currently thinking about.

"Let's make the best of what we've got now, Mitsunari. If you feel the darkness pulling at you, know I'm here to keep you from regretting your decisions later. We walk this path together, you and I. You're not alone."

"How…quaint..," He looked down into the water, as if looking at his reflection," Then I expect you to swear your loyalty to me. You will serve me til the end of this grim objective, or die with me trying. If you leave me, I will have no mercy for you."

He looked into my eyes, his much less innocent than before. They were mere slits in the light, burning into the depths of my soul. In his eyes were anger and rage, sadness, and loyalty that would put anyone to shame. The loyalty that I always wished for and admired.

"I swear myself to be your comrade, nothing more and nothing less," I replied," And I refuse to leave your side, even if I have to die to stay there."

"Good. Then I won't have to kill you." He grumbled, the weaker, more sensitive side of Mitsunari disappearing.

"Ha-ha," I smiled, taking instep his twisted personality and finding myself unable to hate it, even though it was harsh," You have nothing to worry about from me."

"Go back to camp. Tomorrow you need to be in your best condition." Mitsunari ordered, turning away from me," The Saica are already expecting us."


	2. Chapter 2

"You plan on enlisting them?"

"We need strong allies for this war. Ieyasu has been spitting his venom across the land and we lose loyalties every waking minute. Those traitors will face judgment."

"They have hordes of skilled gunmen…," I brought up, feeling concerned," It won't be easy to infiltrate them."

"That's why I need Yoshitsugu and you to be prepared. I can't have generals who can't pull their own weight."

"Of course," I bowed, "I shall return to camp and rest for tomorrow. Take care, sir."

"…," Mitsunari looked back over his shoulder, but didn't speak.

I took his gesture as a dismissal and promptly turned back. The water splashed behind me, but I continued to walk onward and kept my eyes on the direction of where our camp was. I gripped my cold sheath tightly, stepping over branches and between trees. I figured Mitsunari was dressing now that I had exited, so I hurried back without so much as a thought of catching a glimpse of what was behind me.

Soon, I smelled the campfire and heard the laughter of men again, reassuring me that I had made my way back. Stepping out into the clearing, I spotted all of the men in a large group at the center of camp, the light from the fire casting shadows over their wrinkling, chuckling faces. Their expressions were contagious and I noticed that I, too, was beginning to smile. Despite all of our ill fortune, the men could still find joy around each other, and a sensation ate at my heart. Was it guilt?

The smile disappeared and my heart ached. It felt wrong for me to look at their joyous expressions and I remembered why. Our battle tomorrow was going to be a tricky and bloody one against the Saica; a mercenary group armed with guns and cannons holed up in a fortress lined with deadly traps. Their wits would be put to the test against us, an army of swordsmen, archers and pike men. No doubt there would be heavy casualties tomorrow against the mercenaries, but I didn't know if I could handle the slaughter. Swords against a sea of bullets; was this truly worth it?

However, it was imperative that we would at least try to gain their loyalty, knowing that they would be a devastating foe in the future if they were to join Ieyasu against us. I hoped dearly that there would be a way to save our troops from annihilation, but I had a feeling I couldn't trust Yoshitsugu with the lives of our men. Being our tactician, I knew he'd have some if not an abundance of information on our target at his disposal. I wasn't too keen on the idea, but my best chance at saving casualties might be in asking him for information myself and devising my own strategy for the unit I would be assigned to. Knowing he wouldn't be too happy with my input despite his own ideas, I'd strictly have to limit what I spoke of around him. Steeling myself, I made my way to his tent.

"Yoshitsugu, it's Yume," I announced, "I would like to discuss tomorrow's battle with you."

"Don't you think it'd be best for you to sleep?" Yoshitsugu spoke from inside the tent," Being the brawn of our army, you should let the brain do its work in peace."

"I am not just the brawn of this army; I think my actions through to the end. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like some information on our enemy so that I can perform at my best tomorrow."

"Why, you sure are dutiful. You may enter."

I ducked through the tent doors and into what would be the stereotypical tent of a tactician. A table was in the center of the tent, covered with little wooden figures and a map marked over with ink. Yoshitsugu was sitting on the other side of the table, hand on his forehead as he gazed at me with stern apathy. Awkwardly, I inched closer to him.

"Sit," Yoshitsugu rolled his eyes, annoyance clearly written on his face.

"Thank you," I brushed off his tone and sat across from him, gazing over the map.

"I know you're here to plan a strategy to save your men," Yoshitsugu mumbled," And I've planned accordingly to your views. You will lead a defensive strike against the enemy in order to give Mitsunari's forces a clear shot to the center of their fortress."

"You mean that I will lead the first offensive wave?"

"Basically," He sighed," You will prevent the enemy from touching our main forces."

"Wouldn't the first offensive wave suffer the most casualties?" I growled, feeling like he didn't understand me at all.

"Perhaps, but it would save countless others behind it. If Mitsunari's unit were to be the first, then you know for sure that the casualties wouldn't bother him as much as they would you. His rage drives him and he'd surely lose direction. You're the only one able to fill this spot."

"Why wouldn't you drive the first offensive?"

"You know all too well why I wouldn't drive the first offensive," He smirked, a chill running down my spine," Also, the soldiers you lead have the highest morale of our army. We wouldn't want the troops to be led by the unenthusiastic."

"You just want me to watch my men get slaughtered!" I shouted, standing up.

"I'm sure you'd try your hardest to keep that from happening, General."

"Is there any other way this can succeed?"

"Have at it yourself, girl," Yoshitsugu chuckled, scooting away from the table and motioning for me to take a shot at it.

I grumbled a curse under my breath, but sat back down at the table. Reviewing several different approaches in my head, he was correct that my unit was best suited for the front lines. My men were of the highest morale, despite not being the most skilled of our ranks. As Mitsunari had numbers, I had the willpower and thoughtfulness needed to get objectives cleared. With this being a tricky fortress and my heart wishing to guide me instead of my head, I realized why I was the candidate Yoshitsugu had chosen. If I had not been the person I was on the inside, Yoshitsugu would never have put me on the front lines. He was trying to break me, but this was justified. He was using decisive and well-thought out tactics to put me out of my comfort zone as well as using my morality against me to guilt me into taking the position. My stomach squeezed, and he knew I was defeated.

"Study this map well," Yoshitsugu mentioned," Your men need to avoid as many of their traps as possible if you want to succeed."

"Right," I spoke, lowly, my heart aching with my responsibility," Mitsunari knows of your strategy?"

"Not yet. We will meet in the morning to discuss this further. Now, rest if you still can. Your soldiers will depend on you tomorrow." Yoshitsugu mocked, and I promptly left his tent.

He was right. I'd have enough trouble sleeping without knowing what the plans were, but now that I did know, my mind was racing with thoughts and worries. As I walked by the men just now retiring to their tents, I felt guilt burn at me like hot coals in my stomach. Despite my efforts, men would die tomorrow, like any other battle. Yoshitsugu was testing my resolve, or even trying to turn me into an unfeeling tool, but I needed to remember that this wasn't my first rodeo. Soldiers and generals die constantly, and I've seen many fall in front of me. My own men die alongside me, but I still perform my duty as general of the Toyatomi army. Just like any other battle, I'd try my hardest to keep the casualties to a minimum for all of our men, not just my unit.

I entered my tent solemnly, knowing my body would need rest for the hell of tomorrow. My men had no idea what they were up against, but maybe it was a good thing. They could rest easy tonight and enjoy the peace while it was around. Placing my sword underneath my bedroll, I slid under the cover and curled up like a child. Alone, in here, I was as close to the real me as I could get. Defenseless and heart heavy; a mere woman wishing for the world to go away and fix itself. The emotions I kept at bay for so long pulled at my calm exterior, but I refused to let them get the best of me still. War was not a place for the weak—not a place for the real me. I had to be strong for the world, strong for my men and Mitsunari. Closing my eyes, I disowned my weak self again, as I would every night, and fell into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning dawned before I was ready to part with the night, sounds of metal and horses ringing through the cool air. Footsteps crunched outside my tent, shifting on the dirt road. I quickly got out of bed, shaking off the grogginess. The steps stopped and I knew someone was about to address me as a means to rise me from slumber.

"General Sehkoshi, Mitsunari requests you in the tactician's tent," A soldier announced, exactly what I thought he'd mention.

"Thank you, sir," I groaned," Tell him I'm on my way."

"Yes, ma'am," The soldier harped, then turned to leave.

I stretched my sore muscles, fastened on my armor, and tied my hair back out of the way. Strapping my scabbard at my waist, I took a deep breath. For the moment I needed to clear my head of worry and keep my thoughts where they'd be best utilized. Mitsunari needed a calm benefactor by his side in the strategy room, not an overly stressed officer. The tent doors opened as I walked into the morning light and felt the cool air with a chill. Everyone was up and getting ready for another march, just a few soldiers staying behind to watch over the camp.

Men greeted me as I walked past with smiles and short compliments and I nodded to them in thanks, not sure how to respond to them with speech as the guilt began to well up again. A thought crossed my mind suddenly and I inspected my leg with touch. The wound was healing up properly and, thanks to Atsuo's medicine and treatment, was numbed enough that I couldn't even tell it had been previously shot. I smiled a little at the information, but regardless continued into Yoshitsugu's tent.

"Ah, she made it," Yoshitsugu mumbled, the mocking tone easily ignored this morning.

"Sorry if I was late, sir," I bowed to Mitsunari, who was looking rather serious over the war table," Did I miss anything?"

"Yoshitsugu told me that you had a discussion with him last night over the battle. If so, then I think a recap isn't necessary," Mitsunari answered sharply.

"Yes, she's well informed…," Yoshitsugu cut his eyes over at me, then continued," You will be following her into battle and will support her forces should they fall. During this, your forces should be led directly to the Saica leader."

"So it should be a quick strike at their heart…," Mitsunari pondered.

"Well, it needs to be as fast as we can possibly make it. Ieyasu has been said to have his eyes on the Saica and their leader since the fall of our lord, Hideyoshi. Rumor has it that the Saica have begun to consider his offer," Yoshitsugu answered.

The pressure in the room skyrocketed after the mention of Ieyasu, especially because it was in competition for the same ally. No doubt Ieyasu would try to trick them with his kind words and promises so that he could oppose us further, knowing we wouldn't bow down after he defeated our beloved lord. Considering this, the possibility for another run-in with Ieyasu himself was growing more probable. My stomach clenched, but I knew that if he were to appear before me that I would be expected to strike him down. This is where my loyalty would be further put to the test if he were to show, other than having to lead the attack itself.

"If they refuse to side with us, then I will force them to join our cause. The Saica will be ours. I refuse to let Ieyasu take what's right in front of us!" Mitsunari scowled, the hatred bubbling inside.

"There is a possibility of Ieyasu himself showing, isn't there?" I asked.

"Of course. His pride might bring him to us, Mitsunari," Yoshitsugu stated.

"If he is indeed on the battlefield, then I will be swift to end him," Mitsunari barked, his hand holding the scabbard of his katana with excessive force," I hope he shows his ugly head so that I can cut it off!"

"That's the spirit!" Yoshitsugu chuckled and I felt a shiver go up my spine," Our enemies deserve no mercy. They will suffer under our blade."

I kept my mouth shut, but felt that Mitsunari was in agreement with the madman at the table. A dark feeling was crawling over my skin, making me feel dirty and misplaced. Whatever Yoshitsugu was planning, it was wrong somehow. The Saica were to be our allies, not people forced under our banner by fear. Fear was useful in small doses, but it was never a permanent fix to anything. Bonds made by fear were always quick to unravel, unlike bonds made through respect. Our forces needn't be like Ieyasu's, but through power we could gain the respect of the people—so long as we were honorable in our actions.

"If the leader of the Saica reveals himself, consider talk over violence," I spoke," If we are to have lasting allies, they must be able to trust us first."

"And if they refuse?" Mitsunari questioned.

"Then we use force. Allowing Ieyasu to take the Saica is the last thing we want."

Mitsunari's hazel eyes glimmered in the dim light of the tent, his brow slightly furrowed as he looked at me. The stare was serious and observing, but I was being considered. Perhaps my pledge to him the night before won some of his respect. I didn't realize that my thinking was causing my gaze to linger until it became noticeably awkward and I turned back to the table. The warmth on my cheeks melted away quickly as I got back to business.

"Hmmm…," Yoshitsugu grumbled, "One last thing before we set out. Their traps will be difficult to maneuver, but imperative to keep watch for. A single trap could spell the loss of several of our men and possibly even a general such as you. Be cautious."

"My attention will be on securing the hold safely. If I can keep my men from falling to sly tricks, then I will do everything in my power."

"We're counting on your units, Sehkoshi," Mitsunari addressed me by my surname, which was odd," If you fail, we all fail. That is intolerable."

"I understand," I bowed my head to him, thinking about all of the other pressure on my back," I cannot fail you, sir."

"Now prepare your men. We leave in less than an hour," Mitsunari ordered, and I bowed before promptly taking my leave.

The sun embraced me with warmth as I left the dingy tent and resurfaced into the electricity of the bustling camp. Soldiers who were before getting ready were now waiting outside their tents, watching me like wolves awaiting prey. I passed them, knowing I'd have to rally my men anyways. Suddenly, someone tapped my shoulder.

"General, I believe this is yours?" A soldier spoke, handing me something as I turned to greet him.

Black leather reins led up to the horse I had lent to one of the sickly soldiers the day before, during our march. The horse snorted at me and I smiled, glad to have him back. I passed my hand over the flat of his nose and looked to the soldier.

"Thank you so much," I thanked him," Do you happen to know what became of the man I lent this horse to?"

"He's doing much better, thanks to you, ma'am. Since he isn't going to be marching with you today, he told me to return the horse for him to its rightful owner. A general needs a horse, after all."

"That's right," I laughed," Are you marching with us today?"

"I am assigned to Lord Mitsunari's forces. The other archers call me a greenhorn since I've just enlisted, but I've had years of experience as a hunter."

"What's your name?"

"You can call me Kichiro," He smiled, the light flowing over his almost perfect skin and highlighting warm eyes.

"Nice to meet you," I bowed to him, and him to me, but I couldn't get his looks past me. The hunters I knew back at my village weren't as well-groomed and polite as he had proven to be, which left me suspicious.

"I'd best get back to my tent. I have to finish getting ready for our next march. Anyway, it was nice meeting one of our esteemed generals. I'll have your back on the field, no problem," Kichiro smiled gently and bowed, his actions graceful and well-practiced.

"Aye, just be careful out there. Good day."

I led my horse back to my tent and pondered the new recruit over and over in my head, trying to determine what was so odd about him other than his hygiene and mannerisms. Checking the saddle straps and health of my horse, I pushed it out of my mind. Kichiro was a nice man, and it wouldn't be odd for a nice man to join a war. The thing I couldn't believe was that he was just a hunter.

Mounting my horse, I took a breath. This was it, our first battle as Mitsunari's forces. Our men, since the last battle, had been cut nearly in half due to Ieyasu's treachery. With good strategy and Hideyoshi's blessing, we would hopefully take this victory by the end of the day. Casualties will be unpredictable, but so long as I command them well I might be able to sleep tonight—if I even survive. Failure was an option only open to me through death, which I would fight still. Spurring my horse forward, I raised my sword into the air.

"Everyone, assemble for march!" I shouted, riding through the lines of tents.

Men took place quickly and by rank, filing into neat rows and columns, unlike the march of yesterday. Today was strict and serious, making the men solemn and concentrated. I took my place quickly and straightened up in the saddle, knowing appearances mattered as well. With a quick glance over my unit, I smiled at them for reassurance and noticed a familiar face. It was the medic, Atsuo, and he wasn't the only soldier to return my smile.

Hooves hit the dirt road beside me and I glanced over at my lord, who was sitting tall and steady in the saddle. The sunlight sparkled off his clean armor and, for the first time, it was hard for me to realize that Mitsunari had never been our leader before. This all came too naturally to him, as if he were born for this position. Maybe what had happened, what had changed everything so drastically, was fate merely correcting itself.

"We will be marching on the Saica today," Mitsunari began to orate, voice cutting through the cool dawn air," If they resist our advances, you are to show no mercy to them! Ieyasu has been seen with the Saica leader. Should he show himself, alert us immediately. The traitor will die by my hands alone!"

"That's hardly inspiring, Mitsunari," Yoshitsugu said so that only we could hear, chuckling.

"We fight in the name of our lord Hideyoshi," Mitsunari snarled, lowly," Shouldn't that be enough encouragement?!"

I kept my mouth closed and scanned the mass of soldiers in front of us. They were still concentrated and silent, in absolute perfect form, but they also looked solemn. I could feel their melancholic emotions radiate through each other and to me. When they were in camp last night, I felt none of this attitude, but today, before a great battle, they were teeming with it. Were they afraid of the battle to come? The lack of having our lord, Hideyoshi, to rally us together behind his power was enough to leave these men doubting the strength of our new leader. Not just I, but Mitsunari as well, would have to prove ourselves today.

"Let's head out," Mitsunari continued as I thought," Daylight is burning."

"Alright, sir," I answered, spurring my horse forward," My units, follow me! Marching formation!"

"Aye!" They boomed behind me, their armor clinking as they marched behind me and into neat rows again.

"Men, line up!" Mitsunari commanded, his men lining up behind mine.

Yoshitsugu's men finally lined up and we were off. The sound of all the soldiers marching together was like music to my ears, but it was also nerve-wracking. A horse whinnied behind me and I turned to see my commander riding to my side. I looked forward, remembering our awkward stare this morning, and kept my eyes from causing another such moment.

Mitsunari was riding beside me, as generals and commanders should, but for some reason it was humbling. When Hideyoshi was our lord, we were always behind him with the soldiers. That wasn't bad, because our men felt closer to our generals, but then we felt more out of touch with our lord. Here, I felt like we were now equals. A smile pulled at my mouth, but I kept it from prevailing in the sight of my commander.

"The weather today is a blessing," I spoke, wanting to break the quiet," It makes the morning quite pleasant."

"….," Mitsunari's eyes moved over to acknowledge me for a second, then returned to the road.

I acted like I hadn't said anything and returned to staring at the way ahead of us and taking in the scenery of tall grass and rolling hills covered by healthy, shade trees. The heat of the day before was weakened by the winds coming from the north which gently swayed the foliage of late summer. As our horses trotted forward, I was reminded again of weather like this in the past and whatever memories were entwined.

"Sehkoshi."

I turned my head to who was addressing me, scanning around the men behind me and even over to Mitsunari, even though I knew it wasn't his voice. Furrowing my brow, I looked back at the road and breathed out. It was no one, apparently. Maybe it was just my imagination.

"What's wrong?" Mitsunari inquired, thinking the matter more important than it really was.

"Sorry, sir. I just thought I heard someone call my name a second ago," I said calmly, hoping it would just pass over his head and he'd ignore it.

Surely, Mitsunari lost his attention to the road ahead again and I let myself breathe easy. It was hard to relax in front of my commander. Every small mistake worried me to no end; the stress of trying to appeal to my leader as a worthy general was difficult to handle sometimes. I missed Hideyoshi at times like these, due to my comfort by his side. He knew my capabilities and my personality, but the distance between us kept me even more able to perform. My mistakes were more excusable and ignored, which made my job easier. This situation, having a commander so close in rank to my own with his trust all upon me and Yoshitsugu alone, was demanding to my personal mindset. I was never one to be as successful socially, but this position was requesting a human more capable with such problems. Mitsunari needed someone vocally confident and reassuring, but I was more of a loyal shadow with occasional advice. Did he really need me?

"Are you ready for this battle?"

I checked over my shoulder to catch the one who had spoken this time, but alas, found no culprit. A strange feeling in my chest followed and I steeled myself. It seemed I was the only one hearing this voice, but why? Where was it coming from? I got a wary glance from Mitsunari out of the corner of his eye and my feeling grew worse. He knew something was bothering me.

"Is someone playing games with your head, General?" Mitsunari spoke again, eyes on the road.

"It appears so. Have you heard the voice, as well?"

"No," He said quickly, a small scowl on his face," Clear your head. We're almost to their camp."

"Yes, sir."

I instantly regretted asking him if he had also heard the voice call to him as well. Knowing that I was hearing voices was like saying that I was going insane and asking him if he were losing his sanity as well. My clash with bad luck and wishing to be an outstanding ally was taking another nose-dive right in front of me. I was now building more obstacles between my commander and me with my terrific sense of discretion. Suddenly, the trees were beginning to thin and the road widen.

"Men, follow me!" I shouted, getting them ready for our battle formation.

Mitsunari had already pulled his men off to the side and we made a wide ocean of men, with Yoshitsugu's forces still in the rear. Spurring his horse forward, Mitsunari moved to face us all. I sat tall in my saddle and acted as though I were born a professional.

"The Saica expect us and will be hostile to our arrival," Mitsunari began to address all of us," This battle will not be easy. Death will flow with the blood of friend and foe alike. However, Hideyoshi will be watching us today and his will can grant us this victory. Our blood is the blood of the Toyatomi. We will avenge every ounce of it! We will crush those that stand in our way to retribution! This fight is our fight. Losing is not an option!"

"AYE!" The soldiers shouted in response.

I smiled at the speech. He was definitely born a leader and I no longer had a doubt. Though he was cruel at moments, he rallied the men behind a definite and passionate goal with simple words. I shouted with the men, feeling the energy within our numbers lift my spirits. We would win this battle, there was no other option.

"Forward!" Mitsunari shouted, raising his sword high over his head.

I reigned my horse onward, riding ahead with my men in tow. Mitsunari's men walked a foot's length away from mine but stayed by my side, as we were deemed to by Yoshitsugu's strategy. He led his men in step with mine as the trees lessened and revealed a fortress walled with logs from the same forest. The tops of the walls were covered with archers, gunmen, and lookout towers, all alerted to our trespassing much sooner than expected. Swiftly, the good feelings I had a mere second ago melted away to cold thoughts of battle and consequences.

"Are you ready, General?" Yoshitsugu called from behind me, causing my nerves to flare up.

Closing my eyes for a second, I knew this wasn't the type of battle that called for the generals of both sides to meet first, but I had wished it was. This was simply to request an alliance, but the Saica were insistent on facing us instead. Many people had told me before that the leader of the Saica valued strength and loyalty, but would he really be alright with letting his men die out of loyalty just to test our resolve when we could have simply talked it out? Nevertheless, it was time.

"Men, forward!" I directed, spurring my horse hard into a gallop and hoping my armor would deflect any lucky shots as we stormed the stronghold.

My men sprinted behind me as the enemy let loose their ammunition upon us. A barricade of sharpened wooden pikes was in the way of the entrance and I knew I'd have to clear it away for my men so that they wouldn't be caught outside in the shower of bullets that whizzed by my mount as I advanced. A few cavalry men were riding close behind me, like we had planned the night before, and one had the explosives to clear our path.

"I need the bomb!" I shouted over the roar of gunfire," Hurry!"

One of the soldiers rode to my side and handed me a satchel with a fuse, pausing to light it before letting me possess it. I nodded in gratitude and kicked my horse to increase the speed we were travelling at. This explosive was made especially for this task to blow away the obstruction and cause smoke to blind our enemies as we entered. I was to lead them into the fortress and startle our enemy before they could retaliate and cut us down with their waves of bullets.

Suddenly a loud crack and the breeze of a close bullet shook my demeanor as it made contact with the horseman who had given me the satchel. He let out a howl of terror and as the blood sprayed from the impact, he fell from his horse and onto the ground. I stole a glance back at him and found him unmoving in a patch of wildflowers now defiled. The feeling in my stomach returned, but I looked forward to my objective.

As the fuse shortened, I threw the bomb into the obstruction and quickly turned away. My men caught up and pooled around me when the explosion blew the pikes to splinters, being the first ones to rush into the fortress with me closely in tow. The screaming wasn't new and neither was the carnage of sword fighting, but as I cut down foes at the entrance the image of the horseman popped up in my mind and left me feeling sick to my stomach.

Gunfire came from the right of us and even more men fell before my eyes. Blood flew up in a red mist from the bullets as they collapsed to the dusty floor of the encampment. My body moved on its own and my horse jumped over the bodies to meet the now reloading gunmen. With a few strokes of my blade the gunmen fell to the ground to rest with my own. Noticing the deceased all over the ground, I dismounted from my horse and proceeded on foot.

"Men, rally yourselves!" I shouted to them, almost screaming over the booming sounds of battle around us," We march onwards!"

We ran forward, hands on our weapons and ready to fell more soldiers fighting like us. A pathway led through the camp, more gunmen sparsely spread across its length suspiciously. I remembered the map, noting that this was the path we were supposed to traverse.


End file.
